- You know you're not okay and you just pretend to be.

- Obviously... I meant I would be okay, but only in case my daily dose of happiness was also doing well. Well, it is not at all. Then, I might die inside too... wishing to know how to make it right.

- Where's your daily dose of happiness?

- Turned out to be so self-sufficient that forgot the real purpose of being my dose... but I'm fine this way.

- I might never want her again.

- But you don't even speak to her!

- I don't feel like wishing her back.

- That's just cheap talk. Go back to her, talk to her, spend the time with her, even if it's just a while. Make her a natural part of your routine, and you will remember how good she was to you, how fine she made you feel, how different she was from me. You will be reminded of the fewer problems she would bring you, the fewer messes she would have left inside your head for just not being so weird and confusing as me. Slowly, all of that empty anger inside you might give space to the butterflies you used to feel when you were with her. And you will soon realise that, even if she's not the right one for you, she is the one you've always looked for and the one you want to be with. That's absolutely her, not me. Stop deceiving yourself.

- I don't want her! Don't you believe me?

- I would utterly believe you if it only depended on me. But that's what I see. I would believe you if all that could be done was actually done.

- If I turn to speak to her again, you'll suffer a lot and won't let anyone know due to your pride.

- Of course I would. I would feel mad, scared and insecure everyday, everytime,. But I can't block you from doing a thing you want. I mean, in case you really want to get her friendship back...

- I don't want her friendship back!

- I'm not convinced. I shouldn't have let you know, unconsciously, that I suffer seeing you with her. Now I believe that you just say you don't want her back because you don't want to let me down, once having seen my situation before.

- So, what can be done?

- I don't know... do whatever you feel like. I just wanted you to be aware that, if you're avoiding her because of me, never mind. That's just bullshit. If having her would make you happy, I'm pretty sure I'll also be just for the sake of seeing you fine.

- How come...

lost in thoughts says: 

Quando ela diz "não", ela quer realmente que você vá procurá-la.

unfaithful says:

Pode ser. Mas tem horas que ela realmente não quer ser incomodada.

lost in thoughts says:

Obviamente. Mas ela parte do pressuposto que você a conheça o suficiente pra saber quando ela quer sua insistência e quando ela quer sua distância.

unfaithful says:

Não dá pra conhecê-la o suficiente. Ninguém consegue entender aquela menina.

lost in thoughts says:

Eu sei... não tô falando que o problema é com você. Deve ser com ela também. Ou nem isso, porque ela com certeza não acorda pedindo pra confundir todo mundo.

unfaithful says:

Será? Tem horas que parece muito que ela faz de propósito.

lost in thoughts says:

Na hora de fazer, a cabeça dela deve falhar e é mais forte que ela. Ela não se arrepende porque prefere se arrepender do que não faz. 

unfaithful says:

Orgulhosa.

lost in thoughts says:

É. Mas uma ponta de culpa ela deve ter. Ela com certeza sente. Mas não deve mostrar a ninguém essa culpa, esconde até mesmo dela própria, pra não cair em contradição.

unfaithful says:

Se ela cai em contradição já escondendo um monte de coisa, imagina se falasse tudo...

lost in thoughts says:

Ela só queria que alguém a entendesse. Ou a ouvisse, e, mesmo que discordasse, simplesmente a desse atenção. Ok, não é qualquer alguém. Você é esse alguém. E, quando ela mais precisa, você simplesmente não aparece. Claro que você sempre se dignou a ajudá-la em vários momentos - de grandiosa importância - mas, coincidentemente, nos mais emergenciais, você simplesmente a deixa. E ela fica sem saber se o problema é com ela, se o problema é com tudo, se realmente há problema ou se foi ela quem inventou tudo e tá tudo bem e foi tudo mera coincidência - apesar dela não acreditar nem um pouco em coincidências e tudo levar a pensar que ela é o motivo de dissonância.

unfaithful has just signed off.

"I wanna lock you up in my closet when no one's around; I wanna put your hand in my pocket because you're allowed. I wanna drive you into the corner and kiss you without a sound. I WANNA STAY THIS WAY FOREVER, I'm saying it LOUD: you make me so hot, make me wanna drop, you're so fabulous, I could never stop. I can hardly breathe, you make me wanna scream. You're so fabulous, you're so good to me."